As the snow clears away and the grass and trees are seen in all their glory, it is time to begin to put into place the seeds of our plans for this year so that they can begin to germinate over the next few weeks.  Six months before we have the physical experience, the energetic aspect has already been established for what is to come.  This is why great masters know six months before their own death that it is coming as they can feel it in their energetic bodies.  So, from our reflections of ourselves and our life that New Year often brings, we have a renewed vision for our future. It is time to take the steps to make that vision a reality. 

Don't be overwhelmed by the immensity of your task, just take small steps in the right direction with clear and good intention and release all those doubts about what might be possible or what you deserve in life and everything will begin to fall into place.  If you really want to be the creator of your own life and don't want to just be carried along by fate, then you must take responsibility and BEGIN TODAY!

To capture the essence, the numerous smells and sights of India requires each of us to journey into that place, to explore in our own way the beauty, the poverty, the humility and the wisdom.  For each of us the journey will be unique but if we open ourselves to connecting with the people of India, their stories, their histories, then we can be touched to the very core of our being by their words, their tears and their joy.  When we have many material things in life we are afraid that we will lose everything we have.  When we 'have' very little then each day is more about survival and we are transported more directly into the moment.  We may not live to see tomorrow so we simply focus on today.


There were often tears on my journey through India as I felt so deeply touched by the people I met and the experiences that came to me.  I was blessed to have much time for silent contemplation bringing a deeper sense of clarity and peace into my experience of life.  Being away from everything familiar gave a new opportunity to really be myself and not be constrained by old habits and old relationships - this is one of the aspects of travel that I've always loved.  I find that my 'two' worlds are not so far apart anymore, the beauty of just being what 'is' shines through more and more.

The familiar feelings of the cosy childhood arise unexpectedly as the child is fully present with her painting and the father smiles with joy at the sheer beauty of his daughter's presence in life. It is the safe, warm energy of the family space and yet the mother is absent. The feminine presence manifests through another who watches, observing the beauty of father and child, whilst present to the memories of her own childhood, so full of light and joy. As the rain would fall making beautiful music against the window pane, the child would smell the bread rising in the oven and know her mother was present, perhaps the sound of gentle humming as her mother joyfully and fully present to the moment would take care of the family needs with no wish for anything different or more. Just a feeling of satisfaction of the existence in that moment that had always been imagined. Perhaps momentary feelings of bliss and connection, unknown by the mind but nonetheless felt in the way that true humility can inherently not be known within oneself but only through the reflection of another.

As the time passes and I sink deeper into the reality of being, the peace is stronger and more profound. There is the view from the window of prairies disappearing into the distance, meeting with the sky, all I see is beauty. Beauty in the meeting of the distant field with the horizon, beauty in the tiny blades of grass, swaying gently in the breeze, touched by a heavy rain drop, still present from the recent rainfall. Totally present, without a need for anything different, without awareness of experience, just a beingness that is, until it is no longer. As the cycle of night and day brings the sun and the moon anew every time, so the blades of grass exist within a cycle of life, their own particular cycle of life. No fighting, no expectation, just being with what is.

Sometimes I question what the yoga show is really all about and yet I cannot deny that I enjoyed my two days there and was aware of many people being touched by the Kundalini Yoga practise as a result of the classes/various conversations that people had over the three days. 

To teach an open class to 50 people using a head microphone whilst people are walking by and watching on is quite an experience.  It is a long way from a peaceful room with candles and soft music that are often associated with yoga!  On the one hand, the yoga show is totally commercial and as such the energy there is filled with that competitive, fearful edge of the Piscean Age.  Yet, amongst all that are some real gems and some real heart centered and transformational work does take place.  Interestingly, it's quite a paradoxical mix!

For me it does provide an opportunity to help introduce the teachings to many people that have never heard of Kundalini Yoga but also to provide a little more guidance to those people that have a small amount of experience and would like to take it further.  From that point-of-view it definitely has a role to play. 

Running into people that I've known a long time and taking the time to update ourselves with each others lives is a real blessing.  Alongwith running into those people that I don't know so well - one lady came and said hi as she recognised me from the workshop in Italy in June this year, 'Women's Spiritual Mastery.'  I had another bizarre meeting when I was on a packed tube on Saturday evening and was remembering why I left London when I found myself squashed next to a lady that had been at Cortijo Romero during the week that I was teaching there in 2007.

These experiences are such beautiful examples of the way that life is all interconnected and we know that there are no coincidences so somehow these seemingly 'chance' meetings have an impact on our lives, if we allow them to...

It has been another beautiful day and as I prepare to go and teach I am aware that it is just a few days now before I will leave this place that has been my home for the last 18 months and I head to pastures new, finding new sanctuaries as I go.

Always everything is changing but sometimes our awareness of this change is precise and clear and sometimes the change is so magnificent in its manifestation that it is as if we are obliged to stop for a moment and notice.  This is the space in which I currently find myself.  With my last 10 days staying at this flat which has been my home for the last 18 months, I find myself clearing out old paperwork and bringing all my 'business' up-to-date.  There has been a powerful clearing of space within over the last few years and now that manifests in the outer world.  A cycle is ending with the year being 2009 and with me being in the 7th year of a 7 year cycle of consciousness.  My age also points to particular changes which I can feel manifesting as each day passes.  Again, I find my life experiences confirming the teachings that I have been blessed to find. 

A deepening within is occurring and removal from current life circumstances is sure to release the remaining particles of habitual patterns that have run my life for many years but that are now just shadows of their former selves and are ready to depart from this being, leaving a space for new and different manifestations.  The magic of the universe shows itself to this being again and again in so many different forms.  There is never ending magic, sacredness and love within this world, it is just a matter of whether we see the glass half empty because we feel we are a victim or lacking something, or the glass half full because we feel so abundant that we've given half of everything we have away to others...

Sometimes the day feels so long,

other times it feels too short,

how can this be...

our relation to time,

our 'control' over time,

mastery of the 2,

immortality appears.


Contemplation, meditation,

brings peace of mind,

expansive thoughts,

no limits, no judgements,

cosy body feelings,

lightness of body and mind,

stillness, oh so beautiful

manifestation always the consequence.

As the rain falls heavily from the sky, I feel so privileged to be watching and listening from the inside as I stay warm and dry with my hot drink and warm muffin.  The nights are beginning to draw in and the sunny days are fewer.  Again we feel the autumnal energies sweeping through us, our energies change alongwith our outlook.  As I listen to some eclectic French music, whilst in this very contemplative mood, it is as if I'm whisked off to another time, another place, another experience, did I dream it, did I truly experience it in this physical body, is it some one elses memory that has lodged itself into my subconscious...

As my level of subtelty increases, so my awareness of time never stopping feels very BIG and hence the ongoing, never ending change that is embedded in the very core of life is experienced in deeper and more profound ways.  I experience myself as the same inner being of many years before and yet it is true that I now see and experience the world through very different eyes and yet the core of my being that I've known for as long as I can remember has never changed, it is reliable, it is unchanging and yet it isn't tangible. 

You ask me, what is this core being of yours, tell me about it, but there is no word that can describe it, words can act as signposts, as indications but they can never fully describe the feelings of peace, of joy, of sadness, of stillness that I feel so deep within myself.  Gradually they come up towards the surface of my being as they gently, although sometimes very drastically, begin to be embodied in the being that is Ishwara and it seems that it is a journey, a journey of awareness, of deepening, of embodying, to then return to the starting place where everything is the same and yet paradoxically totally different...